Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The End of the Road


dear readers
its time to say goodbye again
my worst fears came true
she locked her blog
open only to invited readers
as you all know
this is the place where i respond to her blog posts
thats the only reason i came back to blogging
from now on i cant stalk on her blog
i cant hardly know whats happening to her
i cant post responses
since this blog is about her
and only about her
now i see no reason of writing anything here
so let this be the last post
but i'll always be the sun of a beach
while every post before this is directed to her
this final post is to you
my readers
thanks for your support
till we meet again
peace ^^v

The PNP Experience (Part 2: There's No Place Like Home)

day 3
awake
and its already raining outside
heavy rain
cant go batu ferringhi beach
i missed the chance
to be the sun of that beach
cant go butterfly farm
cant go many places
go around the island inside the car
reached balik pulau
ate asam laksa
reached snake temple
few snakes available
reached queensbay mall
my biggest impression is the toilet and parking ticket
reached kek lok si temple
and its still drizzling on the way up
night falls
went to the stalls nearby sunway hotel
and finally got to eat my favourite penang rojak

day 4
after breakfast
packed our bags and checked out
bought tau sar pneah
went to khoo kongsi
went to the temple of sleeping buddha
went to a wishing pond
threw coins
i wished for good luck
didn't get it
i wished for happiness
got it
lets see
went for lunch after that
kuay teow soup
my recommendation
started the journey home after lunch
used the penang bridge to go back on the mainland
and as usual
i didn't sleep much during the journey home too

4 days
ended fast
nice trip
great memories
but there are times
i sort of disconnected with my friends for a while
because thoughts of you came on my mind

when i reached home
i thought
although there's no place like perlis and penang
but there's no place like home
hope you get what i mean

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Silly

that time your dear was sick
you took bus
and then walked 1km to his place
just to be with him

that time you were lonely at home
your dear walked all the way from his house to yours
at midnight
just to be with you

gosh
you did a lot for each other
but
but
but
i dont know how to say
its
its really just
just
just

ITS JUST SILLY LAH

My Dear

my dear
your dear fell sick

my dear
i'm sick too

my dear
your dear had fever

my dear
i'm having cough and sore throat

my dear
you told your dear to take care

my dear
i wish you care for me too

my dear
you told your dear to cover blankie tight tight

my dear
i wish to cover blankie tight tight with you by my side

my dear
i wish to be your dear

but no matter how my dear
you will always be my dear

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The PNP Experience (Part 1: The Journey is Part of a Trip)

pnp
stands for
perlis and penang
back from the 4 days trip
yesterday
a nice experience
i wont forget

day 1
the journey starts
from klang central
at 9.30am
when we reached kangar
its already evening
what to do along the journey?
many will say sleep
but i did not sleep much
most of the time
i looked outside
to enjoy the view
because to me
THE JOURNEY IS ALWAYS PART OF A TRIP
the north-south highway
is full of nice sceneries
credits to the highway builder
i saw
the city skylines of klang valley
the unique rocky landscapes before and after ipoh
the waterfall along the highway
the mining sites extracting granite from the rocky hills
the twists and turns around the mountain
and the tunnel after that
the factories of butterworth
the green paddy fields of kedah
and finally the highway ends in a small town called changlun
a night at kangar
also a small town
with not much entertainment
no saturday night fever whatsoever

day 2
went to kaki bukit
another small town under the hills
along the road
the scenery is my favourite
green paddy fields
with rocky hills as the background
what a place to escape from the busy city life
sitting in one of the rocky hills
is gua kelam
the first time i've been to a cave
batu caves not counted
next stop
padang besar
a town
at the borders
of malaysia and thailand
afternoon
took bus to penang
took ferry across the penang strait
checked in the hotel
not feeling well
bad cough sore throat
lost my voice
didn't go anywhere at night
took some rest in the hotel room

now i shall take a rest here
to be continued
in my next post
day 3 and day 4

Saturday, June 19, 2010

P for...

p for post
your post kept coming
its your third of the day
and i keep respond
thanks for keeping me busy

p for perlis and penang
its where i will be
for the next 4 days

p for postpone
perhaps for those days that i'm away
i would not be able to read your blog
and post my response
i will postpone my response
since its a promise to you

p for passion
the passion that i have for football
the passion that you have to lose weight
the passion that i have for you
the passion that you have for him

last but not least
p for P license
congratulations for passing your driving test
way earlier than i did mine
you can now drive to meet him
you can now drive out for dating
you can even drive me crazy
well you've being doing that long before
but most importantly
drive save
remember
your p stands for probation
while my p stands for professional

peace ^^v
and it starts with a P

Determination is Power

you seemed determined
very determined
to lose 2kg in 10 days

skipping meals
eating only oatmeals
and exercise like hell

determination is power
but too much of anything
might not always be good

well i hope you succeed
and hope that you are still as beautiful as ever the next time i see you
but when will it be?

Friday, June 18, 2010

Radio Connection

i'm in the computer lab
of my college
right now
i opened your blog
yes
like it or not
that's how much i stalk on your blog
at every single opportunity

you posted
i will respond
it's the first time that i've blogged
away from my comfort zone
which is my room

while i'm away from my comfort zone
you're away from yours too
he's away
but you feel connected
when he tells you to listen to the radio
and you feel sweet
when the radio plays both of you's favourite song

radio has became a connection for you two
if i can be the DJ
give me a call anytime
and i'll play your favourite song
and dedicate it
to both of you

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Diet

your second post of the day
says that you wanna go on a diet
nothing but oatmeals for 12 days
oats are good for health
okay it's a lame statement
everybody knows it
but nothing else but oats?
it's not gonna be a balanced diet
it's not gonna be healthy

i haven't seen you in 8 months
i don't know if you are really in need of a diet
but the last time i saw you
and those days when i can see you anytime
you're perfect
everytime i see you i really wanna tell you that
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL
and i really mean it

right now i had no rights to say anything whatsoever
but in my mind i secretly wanna tell you...
TAKE CARE

i hope that while you plan to lose weight
you do remember that there are people
who don't even have that chance to lose weight
example
me

so
please don't think that you're fat and need to embark on a diet
when you're actually perfect
and the same goes to every other girls who thinks they're fat when they're actually not

just an advice which will never come to you

Beach

he will be back on the 28th
at night
you will go to the beach
just you and him
which beach?
i will not know

he's like the son of a bitch
not worth of anyone's love
let alone yours
while i'm like the sun of a beach
giving the beach and everyone warmth
everybody but you
not because i don't want to give you
but because you rejected

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The Road Not Taken

your mood is like a swing
a while happy
a while moody
a while writing all the happy things in life
a while writing all the sad things in life

why you need to beg him to come back
is it really that you suffer so much without him
is it really that you cant live with him away
get on with it
in this world there's no one who couldn't live without another person
i once thought i wouldn't live without you
if it's true i'd be long gone by now
you chose him to be your boyfriend
now you're on your knees literally
wanting him not to leave you lonely
sulking about a boyfriend that had to be away from you for work

i don't understand
i will never understand
but have you ever thought
that you had a road not taken?

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Sole Survivor

I opened my eyes, can't recall how much time has gone passed, and barely had an idea about where am I, and how I got here. In an apartment room which is alien to me, a calender hanging on the wall, it says December 2012. Everything was dusty. The room is dark, there are no windows, with the only source of light, being some stray sunlight finding its way in from an air channel the size of a football. At least I know it is day. My sixth sense tells me to get the hell out of wherever I am right now. The doorknob is rusty. I struggled to open the door. But when I did, I nearly got choked with the amount of sawdust emitted from the doorframe. It must have been years since this door was opened.

The hallway is empty, the elevator got stuck in between two floors with the doors half-opened. I make my way down using the stairs. The receptionist area is empty. Spider webs covered the area. I pick up the phone. There are no line coverage whatsoever. I walk out to the streets, everything from buildings and pavements, to cars and lamp-posts, are covered with 'greeneries'. Creeping plants creep their way up to the top of the lamp-posts, and ferns grow out from the cracks of the buildings. I turned and looked down the other side of the street. It's the same. I found out.............................................. THAT I'M ALL ALONE.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

It could have been

a trip to sunway lagoon
had fun
had laughs
had thrills
had memories
it had also brought lots of thoughts
that i could have experienced all those
with you

a game of ice hockey
on pyramid ice
i stood above and watched
great speed
great balance
great talents
great techniques
seems great to be on ice
i never skated before
and i still never had
but
i'm sure would have had
had things not happened

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Your Ignorance, My Motivation

before anyone reads this
please read the post before this
titled 'love story'
it might take a longer while
but please
and i mean
PLEASE

dear
it was tough reading your story with him
really tough
it left me shattered into pieces
but what's more tough
is that after being shattered
i will still have to respond
its a promise to you
that i will respond to your every single post
even though
i know you aint gonna read it
it is perhaps the only promise i can keep for you now
but its the most i can do for you now

my dear
your dear did a lot for you
i never did anything much for you
but i never had the chance
things that would create a scenario for me to touch you
doesn't seem to happen at my time
if it had
i will make what he did for you
seem like kacang putih

ever since things happened
i cursed
i want his parents and family die cruelly
but not him
reason?
because i want him hurt
not you
if his dad and mom are dead
he will hurt
like hell
but if he died
you will hurt
that's why
i don't want him to

ever since things happened
i started a battle with god
in which i won
but not without a tough fight
god is a difficult opponent
full credit to him
at times i came close to being knocked out by him
although in the end i emerged victorious
but i also emerged with bruises
anyway
i'm still happy
that i'm able to prove
that i'm just that little bit better than god

now
here i am
still standing
tougher
thinking of it that way
you are not that bad for me
those things you put me through
made me tougher

for 16 months
you ignored me
erased me cleanly from your memory
you want me out of your life
you want to see no stuffs related to me
while you only want everything related to him

but did you know
the more you don't want to see me
the more i want to be seen by you

my dear
i wish you will come across me
in the future
when you flip through newspapers
when you read through magazines
when you turn on the tv
when you tuned in to the radio
when you surf the internet
when you drive by street advertisement billboards

yes
i want to be famous
and yes
i know lots of young people dreamt of being famous
but i'm different from them
i'm serious about it
and i'm working on it
my dreams include being
a radio dj
a television host
a movie director
a magazine editor
an event emcee
in short
being in the entertainment industry
and yes
all those gives me a chance
to reappear in your life
through those ways mentioned above

i want to direct a movie about your story with him
i want to write a song about us
if the opportunity comes
i will try

looking at it this way
ain't your ignorance a motivation for me?

and after i succeed
and if i were given the chance
to be recognized
by receiving an award for my job
and if i were to have the chance to say a few words onstage
after thanking those i wish to thank
i will reserve a special mention to you
yes
you see it right
in front of the television and live audiences
while hoping that you are watching
I WILL THANK YOU
for my success
because your ignorance have given me the extra motivation
for me to be who i am
because without your ignorance
i wouldn't have achieved what i achieved by then

and i mean it

Love Story

first of all
a round of applause
from the bottom of my heart
that was your best post ever
i mean it

i have always only responded to your blog
but today
thanks to your jaw dropping post
i decided to break the rule
by directly quoting
your full blog post
a great story
don't just keep it to the both of you
it deserves more exposure

i will keep my promise
i will still respond to it
just give me some time

below
in orange
is directly quoted from your post
not a single alphabet edited

four in the morning
still not asleep
waiting
till you finish your shift
text me soon.. >.<

orange your favorite colour
you taught me to love it too
i changed a lot since i be with you
you always handled things with ease
no matter what i know i can count on you
its been 7 months
since we've been together

everything i do
i just thought of you
i PROMISE i will study hard
you said after my uni
we can be together
maybe shift to singapore
you will do saving
but now you'll work there
until i finish my education

it rained
remember that night
you came home late
after tea with your fwens
i wanted to go out
though you were tired
you just smiled
and beckon me to the car
it was pouring
long after midnight
we were still driving
around without direction
you still dont have license.. xD
it was so peaceful
looking at you beside me
listening to the pattering rain
i wanted ice cream
we drove to 7eleven
magnum almond for you
cornetto classic for me
:)

it was valentine
at ur house
stayed over
dad dropped us off
went gambling
your sister so sarcastic to me
you were in a temper
shouting at them
lying on your bed in the next room
i was scared
you broke their bed
then you walked in
took off your shirt
you looked tired
i felt sorry
i put you in this

i always wanted to go genting with you
i did
at chinese new year
three rooms
two to my cousins and aunts
one for you and me and dad
we ate kenny rogers that first night
watched a midnight movie
dad woke us the next day
wanted us to dabao
you got up immediately
dragged a sleepy me
and we packed food
outdoor theme park
i made you dizzy
pirate ship
you went back to the room to rest
the next day
we wanted to play superman
and haunted house and motion master
but dad bad sick
the clinic sent him to hospital
you took it in your stride
we rode down in the ambulance
to the nearest selayang hosp
we accompanied me all the time
we bought food
waiting in the awful red zone
dad was sent to icu
you stayed with me that night
i was so glad you did
for the next two weeks
you practically lived at my hse
everyday you went up to the hosp with me
direct the correct road there
what we were have done without you?

i was so scared
dad may die any sec
all those bills and loans to pay
you comforted me
i can remember your text
even now
you said its okay not to have any parents
they will leave us someday
you said i could live with you
you will nego with your parents
and work hard for us
you said its okay not to have hse and car
your dad bankrupted
your family dont have car and hse either

that night at station 1
partying with fwens
suddenly they left
dad couldnt pick me up
alone and awkward
stuck in a table of strangers
i texted you
you just back from singapore
never reached your hse
you came for me already
i was so happy to see you
you said will accompany me
till my dad pick me up
then you drew out bars of chocolate
from your bag
my fav dark chocolate
staring at you
i wasnt your girlfriend then
but you were always there
appear miracleously
every time i needed you
you asked me for the yellow string
that i got when i went ot temple
hopeful smile on you face
held out you hand
i couldnt resist you
i tied it on you hand
you never took it off
until i got something to replace it

all those nights
you sneaked into my house
after midnight
you werent allowed to stay over then
you walked for hours
in the dark of the night
so late and all alone
all the way from kampung jawa to mine
then i will silently open the door
you were sweating so heavily
then you accompanied me
till dawn then you took bus back
you went to so much effort
just for me

that time we worked together
you will take the earliest bus to my hse
sleep in the living room
with me beside you
then we wakey
i prepare for work
and we make breakfast
i like to jia jia make you eat a lot
we even made 3 different breakfast at one morning
you ate everything
then we will make lunch
packed in tupperware
to eat at work
we were broke then
we made a record
survived on rm50 in two weeks
that time you bought rose for me
from the way walking from terminal to my hse
the shopkeeper put perfume
you knew i couldnt stand perfume
so you stupid stupid
put your nose to the rose
sniffed all the way to my hse
your nose was running
by the time you reached
temporary lost sense of smell
looking tenderly at you
touched
my blek rubbed off on you
i used to blek all the time
now you blek all the time
i wanted kisses
you blek
i wanted you to say you miss me
you blek
i wanted you to sing elephant lullaby
you blek
fine i deserve it
after all the time i blek at you too
hehe
the first time we on phone
i wanted you to sing
i could still remember the song
ni shi wo zui shen ai de ren
you were so shy then
you even blushed at that time
that time i naughty
at starbucks
you came when i wanted you to
we werent in a relationship then
you looked away
i whispered
DEAR
just to see you blush
you were stunned i could see
that night
when you hugged me
your cheeks are burning
when you kissed me
you blushed too
you walked me home
and took my hand
there and then
our fate was sealed


my respond
will be in
as soon as possible
just give me some time
i will try my best
to match your post
trust me

Friday, June 4, 2010

The Journeyman

there he goes
there he goes again
left you
a month
you will miss him
he will miss you

its like that
when you fall in love
with a journeyman

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Jen in Hood

he came back
and soon
he's gonna leave again
i don't know where to
because you didn't write
i don't know how long
because you wrote you don't know as well

for the time that he's here
you watched a movie
robin hood
for your info
i haven't watch it
during the show
in the darkened cinema
you curled up to him
you held his hands
lying on his body
and you felt happiness surround you

you even had dinner together
he made you laugh throughout the meal
is he really that funny
or it is because when two persons love each other
everything a person say or do
will look funny or cute to the other person
i knew what you ate
thanks for writing it
you made me feel hungry too
alright
my bad
this should be emo
why am i putting in my sense of humour
perhaps that's just who i am
a person with humour
and that's what a person you are missing

robin hood does not have a hood over his head
but sometimes i wish i have a hoodie over mine

sometimes i picture myself
wearing a dark coloured jacket
with a hoodie over my head
wearing a cap
wear shades that covers my eyes
with a face full of untrimmed beard
sitting at a corner
watching you
and him

i wish to be at two rows behind you
when you curled up to him in the cinema
so that i can watch a show
in which you are the lead actress
while he's the main actor
i wish to be at the other corner of the restaurant
silently observing
when you have your dinner with him
and shock you
by secretly paying for both of your dinners
then turn around and walk away swiftly
so that when the waiter goes to your table
to point to you the person who footed your bill
i'm no longer there

i might be sad seeing all your sweet moments
very very sad
but my shades will cover my sad eyes
and people will still thought
what a cool and stylish guy this is

could all this happen
will i be the mystery man?
will be the jen in hood?